


I made a fist and not a plan

by kryptonianmenace



Category: Codename: Kids Next Door
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:40:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24332962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kryptonianmenace/pseuds/kryptonianmenace
Summary: Hoagie stands up to one of Wally's bullies and inadvertently convinces the school that he and Wally are dating.
Relationships: Wallabee Beetles/Hoagie Pennywhistle Gilligan Jr.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	I made a fist and not a plan

**Author's Note:**

> Title a song lyric from Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother.

Hogarth “Hoagie” Pennywhistle Gilligan Junior was a goody two shoes.

Everyone at Gallagher High knew that.

Hoagie liked science, and airplanes, and building things.

He was a favorite among the teachers, a smart kid who participated in classes and didn’t cause trouble.

The girls found him cute, though his puns were a little much, and the boys found him funny.

All in all, Hoagie Gilligan was a pretty laid back teenager.

And he was standing in front of Wallabee Beetles, knuckles covered with the blood gushing down Dylan’s face from his broken nose.

* * *

Let’s back up.

Wallabee Beetles could hold his own, alright? He was tough.

His parents said he used to be a pretty rowdy kid, always picking fights, running around the neighborhood with his friends causing trouble.

He was even friends with Hoagie, back in the day, if the pictures are to be believed, funny enough.

But Hoagie’s not the point.

The point is that Wally can hold his own in a fight.

He’s tough, and a few bullies aren’t gonna get him down.

That being said, it was still nice to see someone else stick up for him for a change.

* * *

“Get your head out of your ass, Dylan,” Hoagie said.

Wally gaped in shock.

Hoagie Gilligan swearing? No way.

Dylan spat out a hunk of blood. “This doesn’t concern you, Gilligan.”

“It does when you’re running around being a dick,” Hoagie snapped.

Dylan leaned around Hoagie to sneer at Wally. “What, you need your boyfriend to protect you now?”

Wally stiffened. “Shut the fuck up.”

“So what if he does?” Hoagie asks, and woah --  _ what? _

Slow down.

What?

* * *

Wally waited until after Dylan left to confront Hoagie.

“What the fuck was that?” Wally asked.

“What do you mean?” Hoagie asked, nonchalantly picking his backpack up off the ground.

He also picked up Wally’s scattered school supplies, which grated on the blonde boy’s nerves for reasons he couldn’t place.

Begrudgingly, Wally took back his gathered school supplies and shoved them back in his bag. “Now he thinks we’re dating.”

Hoagie gave him an odd look. “Why would he think that?”

“Why would he-- ‘so what if he does?’ Why would you say that?” Wally asked.

“Because it shouldn’t matter who’s standing up for you, he shouldn’t be picking on you,” Hoagie said.

Wally groaned.

“Besides, I don’t see how that’ll make him think we’re dating,” Hoagie continued.

* * *

“So, you and Wally Beetles, huh?” Abby Lincoln asked Hoagie the next day at lunch.

“Huh?” Hoagie asked, looking up from his food in confusion.

“You dating?” she asked.

“What? No,” he said. “I just helped him out with a bully yesterday.”

“That’s not what Abby heard,” she said, voice smug.

“Oh yeah, and just what did Abby hear?” Hoagie asked with a sigh.

“That you all but confirmed it to the bully when he asked if you were boyfriends,” Abby said.

Hoagie groaned. “Wally tried to warn me.”

Abby grinned and fistpumped. “I knew it.”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant,” Hoagie protested. “I meant--”

“Nuh uh, no denying it now. If you can admit it to a random bully, you can admit it to me, your best friend,” Abby said.

“But--” Hoagie started, only to get cut off by Abby shushing him.

“Look, here he comes now,” she said, waving a reluctant Wally over.

* * *

Once Abigail Lincoln had her mind set on something, it was a fact. That’s just how it worked at Gallagher High.

So Abby being convinced that Wally was dating Hoagie?

Well.

Then Wally was dating Hoagie.

“Man, am I glad you came out. Abby was sick of being the only gay kid at Gallagher,” she said.

“Abby, you’ve known I’m trans since we were five,” Wally reminded her. “Everybody has. This is a small school.”

She stuck her tongue out at him. “You can be trans and straight, Wallabee.”

Hoagie tried to interject, but Wally elbowed him, hard.

* * *

Hoagie brought it up the second Abby was gone.

“Why didn’t you correct her about us?” he asked.

Wally sighed. “Once Abby gets her mind set on something, she’s not gonna change it. You should know this.”

“So you just-- We’re just supposed to--” Hoagie spluttered.

“We’re dating now,” Wally said with a shrug, stealing some of Hoagie’s fries.

“That’s not how this works!” Hoagie protested.

“Too late. This is your own fault,” Wally said.

* * *

Hoagie startled when he found Wally waiting by his locker at the end of the day.

“We’re hanging out today,” Wally said.

“No, we’re not,” Hoagie insisted.

“Look, if we’re dating, we gotta hang out. That’s what people do when they date,” Wally said.

Hoagie sighed. “We’re not dating. Abby just thinks we are.”

“And so do a bunch of other people,” Wally said.

“So, what? We just give the people what they want?” Hoagie said, snark filling his voice.

Wally clapped him on the shoulder. “Exactly.”

“And what about what I want?” Hoagie asked.

“You made this bed, now you gotta lay in it,” Wally said. “Besides, what  _ do _ you want?”

* * *

Not many people knew it, but Hogarth “Hoagie” Pennywhistle Gilligan Junior was not straight.

In fact, no one knew, except for Hoagie himself.

The fact that he was bisexual was a secret he kept closely hidden.

He knew he lived in a fairly accepting area, what with Abby being an out and proud lesbian, Wally being open about his transitioning, and many, many others like Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb.

But he was still nervous, you know? It’s a scary thing, not knowing how people will react. And the simple truth is, you never knew how they would react.

And now everyone thought he was dating the first boy he had ever had a crush on.

So what did Hoagie want?

Not this.

* * *

“Me and Hoagie used to hang out a lot, right?” Wally asked. He was seated on the Gilligans’ kitchen table, feet dangling and absentmindedly kicking his backpack on the floor every so often.

Hoagie cringed as his mom’s face lit up at the question. “Oh yes! You two, Abby Lincoln, Kuki Sanban, and that poor missing Nigel Uno boy,” she said. “The five of you were thick as thieves, always running around playing your little games. What did you call it? Kids Next Door, or something?”

“Mom! You can’t go telling them that!” Tommy hissed from the living room. “They’ve been decommissioned!”

“Tommy, you know we have no idea what you’re talking about,” Hoagie said, leaning against the counter with a sigh. “Is this related to one of your stupid games?”

“It’s not a stupid game! The Tommy is a serious defender of kids everywhere!” Tommy exclaimed.

Hoagie rolled his eyes and turned to Wally. “I forgot to warn you, Darkwing Duck here thinks he’s a vigilante.”

* * *

“You’re dating Hoagie Gilligan, huh?” Kuki Sanban asked, confronting Wally at his locker.

“Uh huh,” Wally said.

“And you didn’t tell me, why?” she asked.

“It just sort of happened?” he said, voice flicking upward as he hesitated.

Kuki stared him down, eyebrows raised in disbelief.

Wally crumpled. “He accidentally said something to make Dylan think we were dating, and Abby Lincoln believed it when Dylan spread rumors. And you know if Abby believes it, it’s gonna be true. So I decided to roll with it.”

“Did Hoagie get a say in this decision?” Kuki asked, crossing her arms.

Wally slumped against his locker. “No.”

“Wally,” Kuki groaned. “You can’t just decide these things for people.”

* * *

“Thanks for helping me babysit Joey and his friends,” Wally said. “They tend to be a handful cos they don’t like teenagers.”

Hoagie shrugged. “It’s no problem.”

The two were seated in the backyard, working on homework as Wally’s younger brother conspired with his fellow Kids Next Door.

“Also, uh…” Wally started.

“What’s up?” Hoagie asked.

“I realized, I never bothered to even ask if you were, like, straight or not?” Wally said. “I just kinda made you go along with the dating thing without even knowing your sexuality.”

Hoagie laughed. “You also didn’t seem to care whether I was ok with it in general or not.”

Wally winced. “Sorry.”

“I’m bisexual,” Hoagie said. He paused. “Wow. I’ve never said that out loud before.”

“Oh, shit,” Wally said, eyes wide. “Did I make you come out?”

“No, no, you didn’t. I wouldn’t have told you if I didn’t feel like it.”

“Oh, ok,” Wally said, slumping in relief.

“My main problem with the dating thing is that… I’m not sure how to phrase this,” Hoagie said.

“Just say whatever and hope it makes sense,” Wally said. “That’s what I do all the time.”

“I want it to feel real if I’m gonna date someone, I guess. I wouldn’t even mind dating you for real, but it feels fake because it started on a rumor, you know? I want real dating stuff, like actual dates, and hand-holding, and making out,” Hoagie said, face turning red.

Wally was bright red as well. “Oh.”

* * *

Contrary to popular belief, Wallabee Beetles was not stupid.

He was foolhardy, inattentive, impulsive, and often acted without thinking. But he wasn’t stupid.

He knew he had to make it up to Hoagie for the whole “we’re dating” thing.

He just wasn’t sure how.

* * *

“So, let me get this straight,” Abby said. “You and Hoagie aren’t dating.”

“Correct,” Wally said.

“You never were, it was just a misunderstanding,” she said.

“Yeah,” he said.

“And you made him go along with it, for  _ some  _ reason,” she said.

“Yes,” he said.

“And now you want to make it up to him,” she finished.

“That’s right,” he said.

“You’re out of your mind,” Abby said.

Wally whined. “Will you help me, though?”

“Yeah, yeah,” she said.

* * *

“Hoagie Gilligan,” Wally said, stopping him at his locker.

Hoagie raised his eyebrows. “Wally Beetles. What’s up?”

“What do you say to a real date?” Wally asked.

Hoagie leaned against the lockers. “Oh?”

“The Point. Roller-skating, a classic first date. There will even be hand-holding,” Wally said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Hoagie laughed. “And who would I be going with?”

Wally clutched his heart. “You wound me, Gilligan. Is it not obvious?”

Hoagie gasped. “Is it Abby?”

Laughing, Wally shook his head. “It’s me, you goofus. What do you say?”

“Will there be making out?” Hoagie asked, smirking as Wally turned red.

“Only if you want there to be,” Wally mumbled.

“Correction, only if we  _ both _ want there to be,” Hoagie said, grinning. “It’s a date.”

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my KND spotify playlist if you wanna take a listen: [KND Vibes.](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/426HYMwrxGUYch92EM0Lcl?si=9QhI2_RTRIOmEdmgAAb6RQ)  
> [Check out my tumblr!](https://haljordanisbatman.tumblr.com/)


End file.
